You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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