You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
