I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
