Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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