the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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