I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
