if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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