Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
