This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
