READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
