i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
