I CAN MOONWALK!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
