if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize