i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
