oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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