Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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