I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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