Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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