Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
