I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
