You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
