i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
