so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
wow bdsm is so cute
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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