sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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