I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
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She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize