I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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