Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
