it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
