I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
