good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize