I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
