It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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