I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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