I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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