Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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