Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
