he wants to bone in the snuggie
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This is the high leading the old right now
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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