Can Purell be used as lube?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
How external is "for external use only"?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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