I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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