saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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