Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
