East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
