I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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