I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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