sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
