She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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