awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Your penis caused this!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize