that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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