I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
