I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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