would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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