One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
