why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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