Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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