I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
