We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
