why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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