I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
