so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
