yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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