I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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