You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
