Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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