i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
